#sarcasm

"How 'bout a shot of truth in that denial cocktail."

"I'll speak for myself, but there's a lot of humor to be found in sarcasm and darkness. You talk to any paramedic, they survive by developing a pretty off-kilter sense of humor."

"She was heartily ashamed of her ignorance - a misplaced shame. Where people wish to attach, they should always be ignorant. To come with a well−informed mind is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others, which a sensible person would always wish to avoid. A woman especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can."

"Malachi scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane.""They didn't,"Magnus said. "Your wards are down.""Really?"the Consul's voice dripped sarcasm. "I hadn't noticed."Magnus looked concerned. "That's terrible. Someone should have told you."He glanced at Luke. "Tell him the wards are down."

"You like them,"I realized.Noah's eyebrows lifted in question."Like as people.""As opposed to...furniture?""They're my PARENTS.""That is my understanding, yes."

"By the way, if you get mad at your Mac laptop and wonder who designed this demonic device, notice the manufacturer's icon on top: an apple with a bite out of it."

"I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?""Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple.""But...you did something nice. Why?"He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed?"

"This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic."

"Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?"Harry interrupted again."So he can sneak up on people,"said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking..."

"You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny."

"The key to humor is often self-loathing or sarcasm. In a sense, that's how self-loathing is made palatable."

"You've read half the books in this house? This whole house?""Well, approximately half."Sticky said. "To be more accurate, I suppose I've read more like"- his eyes went up as he calculated - "three sevenths? Yes, three sevenths.""Only three sevenths?"said Kate, pretending to look disappointed. "And here I was prepared to be impressed."

"Somebody says, 'Do a Tom Bodett, a folksy kind of thing,' and it sounds like something out of 'Hee Haw,' very insulting. They turn wry humor into disparaging sarcasm, and you get what amounts to insulting advertising."

"I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-""It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule."

"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."

"I'm telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.''I would,' I said, 'but unfortunately, there are no gorgeous, all-powerful, all-knowing gods around here. I'd even settle for a demigod. It's a step down, I know. But alas, there are nothing but low-brained mortals here. And half-brains, like you."

"Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace"

"A slinky is a toy made for stairs, but that’s entirely too tiresome. What about a toy for escalators that doesn’t move and does nothing and that’s the whole point? I think Americans would relate to and embrace that mentality."

"Hey, Carlos,"the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?""It sucked.""Can you be more specific?"my guardian asks."It really sucked,"I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word."

"Relationships are so much like the United States - they only really thrive when faced with an external threat."