#suicidal-thoughts

"Witchcraft vs. Wordcraft [10w] Covens of witches convened at their annual unconventional Coven’s Convention."

"Obscenity [10w] Obscenity's undefinable becauseeverything that occurs in nature is natural."

"Fugly Fishmates For every woman that looks like a hatchet-faced haddockthere's an equally ugly flounder-faced man with even fewer prospects."

"Transubstantiation [10w] Transubstantiate digression into confessionand drink from poetry's Holy Grail."

"Rice-a-Roni: The San Francisco treat... ...the other treat, of course, being anal penetration."

"Spreading Yourself Too Thin We tend to bite off more than we can chewbecause we've got big mouths."

"Diana Sporting a Remington Sendero SF II {Couplet} Over one shoulder hung a rifle, over the other swung a brace of pheasants;She was a no-nonsense breed of sniper, a viper with no time for fangs of conscience."

"Carlsberg: Probably the best lager in the world... ...just like IKEA is the best furniture on earth."

"Dogs Playing Poker Art [10w] Poker-faced dogs looks like they're bluffing or need to shit."

"No Planning for Death [10w] People put more planning into a weekend vacation than death."

"God May Grant Your Wishes Daily [10w] Pray for sunshine at night and moonbeams when you wake."

"Comfort Zone Your comfort zone has a clock on it, ticking off until it becomes your death zone."

"Wishing Wells [10w] Wishes fall to the bottom of wells;only faith floats."

"Bagels and Lox Life's an everything bagel;love is a schmear of scallion cream cheese;and lox, no matter how you cut it,is resistant to dumbass metaphors."

"Double-Dipping [10w] Double-dip in righteousness and delight in the here and herafter."

"The Refugee I packed my car with cash and valuablesand headed for the border.At the first checkpoint they took my cash.At the second they took my valuables.At the border they took my car and my shoes.I walked barefoot the last 100 feet to freedom,and was greeted with open arms by a person I didn't recognize.In time I discovered that strangerwas the me they could not take from me."

"The 3 Most Powerful Words in the English Language for Every College Student [3w] Ilovepizza"

"Death [10w] What the the dying most resent is life goes on."

"My Fathers Last Words My dad was a sadist and whorehound.His last words were,'Son, I have a million dollars hidden in the."

"Hidden [10w] A woman is an iceberg;we see less than 10%."