#Weird

"It's weird doing red carpets; it's uncomfortable. But you can have a sense of humor about it."

"I want to make something of myself. I believe it’s called a statue."

"He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse."

"There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house."

"For me, I really love 'Tim and Eric' and 'Dr. Steve Brule' and a lot of the Adult Swim shows, so I like strange, weird, sometimes slightly upsetting humor."

"I want to upholster the inside lining of my nostrils with leather, to have that "new car smell"all the time."

"On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars."

"Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies."

"I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money."

"Art imitates life and, sometimes, life imitates art. It's a weird combination of elements."

"Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory."

"33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins."

"Just as heart is a fountain of unspoken words,the universe is a womb of wonder weird worlds."

"We rode the merry-go-round like a couple of lovers. We weren’t though; we were just two horse enthusiasts from two different worlds (I think she was from Mars)."