Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out... - Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

"Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies."

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"There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house."

"The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me."

"Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies."

"I’m 30-years-old, and I still can’t get out from under my father’s shadow. He’s really tall, so maybe I’ll just ask him to move over a few feet."

"This book comes with its very own logo (logo sold separately)."