Beryl Dov

"The 2-Step Self-Discovery Program The first step in self-discovery is not giving a shit what anybody else thinks.The second step is knowing you're a self-centered asshole."

"Miracle [10w] The greatest unacknowledged miracle is man has lasted this long."

"Voodoo I'm phobic about pins and needles.Can I just stick a voodoo doll in the microwave?"

"Battered Women [5w] Battered womenare more crispy."

"Metamorphosis [10w] Change. Become the butterfly.Don't stay a caterpillar with wings."

"Shakespeare vs. Keynesian Economics {Couplet} If 'Neither a lender nor a borrower be',investments would dry up, economies stagnate,and off to the poorhouse go you and me."

"Err "To err is human ~ more wine!"

"Entrepreneurs [10w] A man should be judged by the companyhe sells."

"Gray [10w] Since gray's the 'new black' things aren't black and white."

"What is the Meaning of Life? [10w] {6} To be transformed into all we are capable of becoming."

"Styx Haiku Boatman refusesto paddle me down the Styx.'No carry-on baggage."

"Bespeckled Heroes [10w] Great heroes in 100 years become statues speckled with birdshit."

"Retail [10w] The first and last sale of the day are best."

"Illinois State Motto State sovereignty, national union.Life begins and ends with corruption."

"Diplomacy The diplomat's expert way of saying 'They should go fuck themselves' is:"We are agreed in principleand will take our minor differencesunder thoughful consideration."

"The Poet's Mind In so many ways I walk ablaze in a maze,my eyes in a glaze, my mind in a daze,this poem's just a phrase in the latency phase,rephrase, rephrase, rephrase..."

"The 'Ugly' Poet [10w] Poets develop cleverness with wordsto compensate for their unattractiveness."

"Home Never give up a home for a house;you may never find a home again."

"Kraft Macaroni & Cheese: It's the cheesiest... ...advertising slogan ever!"

"In the Future [1]: (criminals) In the future we're going to find a wayto turn criminals into wordsand then place them in parentheses."