"I'm going to sell Flash Bang Wow Fuzz (not a drill) in a bottle, but I’m not sure how to market it. Maybe as a drinkable alternative to love."
"She said she was a nurse. I replied that she must have a lot of patience—and patients. I would have said more, but I ran out of homophones."
"I thirst for love like a camel thirsts for water. I’m going through a desert right now, but I’m searching for the oasis of my life."
"When traveling on foot through the Sahara Desert, be sure to pack several gallons of ice cream, and keep them close to your heart, because nothing, not even my love, can make that thing melt."
"People won't buy study guides for a dollar, but they will pay 100 dollars for test answers. A #startup should keep this mentality in mind."
"I cry, but not for myself. There’s too much sadness in this world to waste a moment with self-pity, when making others smile will also make me smile."