I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Lat... - Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair."

"I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku."

"I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals."

"I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will be exactly the same length as the Bible."

"I want to write a book about shoes that’s full of footnotes."