#mustache

"There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house."

"I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable."

"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."

"With eyes closed, a kiss is genderless. Now that mustaches are in fashion, some women are finding more hipster love."

"I just developed a gun that shoots mustaches. Sometimes a disguise can be deadly, especially if it’s your love you’re trying to camouflage."

"Since I don't smoke, I decided to grow a mustache - it is better for the health.However, I always carried a jewel-studded cigarette case in which, instead of tobacco, were carefully placed several mustaches, Adolphe Menjou style. I offered them politely to my friends: "Mustache? Mustache? Mustache?"Nobody dared to touch them. This was my test regarding the sacred aspect of mustaches."

"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."