#calvin-and-hobbes

"Reality continues to ruin my life."

"When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back."

"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."

"You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help."

"Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!"

"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."

"Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet"

"I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."

"You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"