#Dad

"Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?"

"My dad was a very funny man - he's the one who taught me life would be awfully hard without humor! I'm sure his Irish wit in some way influenced my decision to become an actress."

"My dad is just like everybody else's dad. I see him as kind of a goofy guy with a great sense of humor. I try to get in a battle of wits with him, but he always gets me. I emulate him because I've never seen anyone work as hard as he does."

"It was my father who taught me to value myself. He told me that I was uncommonly beautiful and that I was the most precious thing in his life."

"I could name my penis Steve, and it would be appropriate, as it is sort of shaped like my dad’s face, whose name is Steve. Not just his face, but his whole body and person is named Steve. And he’s a dick."

"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."

"People tell me I look like my father. I've never seen my dad, so does that mean I look invisible?"

"Most kids start talking by age two. I didn't say a word until I was twelve. I was just angry and defiant I guess. My first word wasn't "Mom"or "Dad."It was "No."

"My mum and dad had worked incredibly hard to afford me an education."

"My dad is so unique in what he does. It's not like I'm taking a torch from him and doing his thing. I hope I've carried from him a little bit of a sense of irony, a little bit of a wink."