#Wit

"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."[Interview, The Paris Review, Summer 1956]"

"Impropriety is the soul of wit."

"If I had to describe my sense of humor, I would say it's contemporary wit, you know what I'm saying?"

"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."

"A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle."

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer"

"Your fantasies define you, so dream carefully. A man with no imagination is a man with no future in today’s world—and no past in tomorrow’s."

"A gumble bee is half gum ball, half bumble bee, and it’s so chewy it stings. Makes me want to be a better lover and tractor salesman."

"Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones."

"They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,"Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me."

"I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appreciate."

"There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that."

"The covers of this book are too far apart."

"If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian."

"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common."

"There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome.""And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.""And yours,"he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them."

"In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge."

"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."

"So vast is art, so narrow human wit."

"One says the things which one feels the need to say, and which the other will not understand: one speaks for oneself alone."