Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

"Unrequited love is the only possible way to give yourself to another without being held in indentured servitude."

"I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy."

"When you loathe yourself, a true friend will respect your honesty. And if you’ve been fortunate in life, he will probably share your opinion."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, until it stops beating. Getting ripped out of the chest tends to have that effect."

"Love leads people to become lost in their own feelings and ignore the world, so it’s no surprise their love for the world goes unrequited."

"Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak."

"Unrequited love is the only possible way to give yourself to another without being held in indentured servitude."

"Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates."

"The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners."

"Love your wife, your servant and your enemy equally, and file her credit card bills under the ‘enemy’ folder."

"I admire Shakespeare enormously. But since I can’t be him, I’m glad that his marriage was unhappy and he’s dead."

"I wanted to have premarital sex with a midget, but I was afraid the ringmaster would banish me for unlawful carnival knowledge."