Beryl Dov

"Too Beautiful for Words [10w] + [10w] When nature presents us with miracles too beautiful for words,it is either a mountain, a beach, or a baby."

"Alaska State Motto North to the Future.We got highest rape and STD-rate in the nation."

"Virtual Friends [10w] Internet camaraderie's bullshit because these 'friends' can't be relied upon."

"As Dead As "Nothing's changed at my place of birth.It is as dead as I remember leaving it."

"Miss Universe Contest Protest Haiku Fundamentalists protest Miss Universe contest.Go home, beat their wives."

"Predestination [10w] 'Twas predestined that I'd call predestination a crock of shit."

"Whose Asphalt Is It? [10w] The road to mediocrity is paved with asphalt and tarmac."

"Wisconsin State Motto Forward.Leading the nation in drunk driving and Cheesehead hats."

"The Squeaky Wheel The squeaky wheel ~will put you $374.43 in the holeafter replacing the brake pad, rotorsand $500 with a new master cylinder."

"Rebellious Fish [10w] Sometimes swimming against the current turns you into glazed salmon."

"Say No to Drugs Commercials The image of an egg sizzling in a frying pan is not your brain on drugs.It's just a fucking omelet."

"Poetry in a Bottle [10w] If you could bottle poetry you'd have one addictive drink."

"Laughter and The Chosen [10w] Making people laugh is God's gift to the Chosen People."

"Love on Fire [10w] A man in love cannot see fire or smell smoke."

"How to Get Girls into Bed When I take a new girl out on a dateI tell them I slipped poison into their wineand the antidote is on my penis."

"Extra Crispy Deranged Free Range Chickens "Hey, I may be delusional in believing you're delusional,but one thinks for sure, the person who bothers to read this shit is delusional."

"Hatred is a Simple Child Hatred is a simple child nurtured and coddled in a raging heart and then released into a crowd of innocents wearing a suicide vest."

"Origami Master If you're the greatest origami master in the worldmaybe I can find you a job folding napkins at a restaurant.I'm not making any promises."

"Premature Evacuation [10w] I've stopped all my relationships short,not unlike this poem."

"Did He Do the Right Thing? I walked out of the room. I did not stay to watch my beloved draw her last breath because I didn't want all my magical memories of her tainted by the profanity of death."