Terry Pratchett

"If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship."

"Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom."

"Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them."

"In the first book of my Discworld series, published more than 26 years ago, I introduced Death as a character; there was nothing particularly new about this - death has featured in art and literature since medieval times, and for centuries we have had a fascination with the Grim Reaper."

"Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them."

"This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic."

"I read anything that’s going to be interesting. But you don’t know what it is until you’ve read it. Somewhere in a book on the history of false teeth there’ll be the making of a novel."

"It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living."

"If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you."

"It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it."

"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this."

"My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat."

"I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel."

"First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft."

"Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could listen in a cutting way. She could make something sound stupid just by hearing it."

"We have been so successful in the past century at the art of living longer and staying alive that we have forgotten how to die. Too often we learn the hard way. As soon as the baby boomers pass pensionable age, their lesson will be harsher still."

"Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom."

"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."

"IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT /MEANT/ TO BE SAFE."

"Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one."