humor

"When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone."

"Humor is an antidote to all ills."

"Do little pink fairies sing and dance in your world, Peabody?""Sometimes, when it's very quiet and no one else can see."

"Excruciating agony makes me cranky."

"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."

"I'm a grenade and at some point I'm going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties, okay?"

"With actors like Steve McQueen, Paul Newman and Harrison Ford, what made them such icons is that even in dramatic movies, their characters had a sense of humor."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

"A lot of people say, 'Hey, God doesn't have a sense of humor.' Yes, He does. God has a great sense of humor."

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."

"Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment."

"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid."

"She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up."

"We're actors — we're the opposite of people!"

"I don't like lollipops."

"I think Damien Hirst is hilarious. And I think he's a true artist. He's not hilarious first; I think he is a real artist, and I also think he's got an amazing sense of humor."

"In the action business, when you don't want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it 'taking cover.' It's more heroic."

"Even a fool recognizes that there is great sadness in a bucket of tears. But only a wise man thinks to conserve water and use that bucket to wash his car."

"I mean, really. Who sends their kid to boarding school? It's so Hogwarts. Only mine doesn't have cute boy wizards or magic candy or flying lessons."

"The only French word I know is oui, which means “yes,” and only recently did I learn it’s spelled o-​u-​i and not w-​e-​e."