humor

"You should try not to talk so much, friend. You'll sound far less stupid that way.- Breeze"

"Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere."

"The human body is the best work of art."

"That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days.You're kidding, right? PLEASE tell me you have a stronger motive for me than 'fair is fair.' Life isn't FAIR, Dean....Nothing is fair, EVER. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you because FAIR IS FAIR? Try, 'I need you to help me so I won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I MIGHT respond to that. MAYBE."

"Drinking coffee is like drinking an inverse yawn. I prefer mine with two spoonfuls of “I’m listening."

"Francis Bacon has the most delicious last name ever, followed closely by Johnny Scrambledeggs. I make love like those two guys make breakfast out of family reunions."

"Hope for the best, survive the worst, find humor wherever you can."

"Snoring keeps the monsters away."

"App idea: in real time track trends as swarms of keywords form, and use this data to invest in the next unicorn #startup.You'll be able to ride that #startup unicorn like you are Billy the Kid, as you watch your profits shoot up."

"Investigation?"Isabelle laughed. "Now we're detectives? Maybe we should all have code names.""Good idea,"said Jace. "I shall be Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein."

"What's this?"he demanded, looking from Clary to his companions, as if they might know what she was doing there."It's a girl,"Jace said,recovering his composure. "Surely you've seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle is one."

"The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven."

"We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor."

"But Piglet is so small that he slips into a pocket, where it is very comfortable to feel him when you are not quite sure whether twice seven is twelve or twenty-two."

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

"Elend: I kind of lost track of time…Breeze: For two hours?Elend: There were books involved."

"No, I really did. I walked into that room and saw the hottest, sexiest guy I've ever seen - wet and half naked. And I said, "Ewww."I know. How am I still single, right?"