humor

"Frank didn’t drop you on purpose,” she said. “He’s not like that. He’s just a little clumsy sometimes.”“Oops,” Leo said, in his best Frank Zhang voice. “Dropped Leo into a squad of enemy soldiers. Dang it!"

"I thought my family was really funny. Everybody in my family was funny. My mom and dad both have great senses of humor and really saw the funny in stuff, so I think that's probably where it came from. I always try to see the funny in things."

"It has often been saidthere’s so much to be read,you never can cramall those words in your head.So the writer who breedsmore words than he needsis making a chorefor the reader who reads.That's why my belief isthe briefer the brief is,the greater the sighof the reader's relief is.And that's why your bookshave such power and strength.You publish with shorth!(Shorth is better than length.)"

"You leave me tied up like a dog? Then you had better remember that this bitch bites!"

"In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back"and not "I love your back"before you continue the conversation."

"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."

"For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were."

"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it."

"I find any sort of acting that doesn't have any humor in it is mind-numbingly boring."

"Lawful good to lawful evil!"said Simon, pleased."He's quoting Dungeons and Dragons,"said Clary. "Ignore him."

"Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects."

"Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies."

"When I'm out of politics I'm going to run a business, it'll be called rent-a-spine"

"The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure."

"To err is human, to purr is feline."

"Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people."

"I think humor is a very serious thing. I use it as a way of weakening the reader's defenses so that I can more easily take him to something more."