humor

"I was in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky. I would have held up my index finger, but I wasn't in love that long."

"You know how to shoot?"- Emma"Yes. My dad taught me everything about gun safety. He was an expert."- Heather"What happened to him?"-Shanna"He was...shot."-Heather"

"Some things don't last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down on the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognize the person you see there."

"Well, it's a humor strip, so my first responsibility has always been to entertain the reader... But if, in addition, I can help move readers to thought and judgment about issues that concern me, so much the better."

"Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake."

"The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues."

"If you're playing a good guy, you show some darkness. If you're playing a dark guy, you show something different, like humor, that will mix it up and hopefully surpass the audience's expectations. What I'm battling all the time is complacency in the audience. I try to bring a little mystery to what might happen because that engages people more."

"There's plenty of room for humor in politics, God knows, but it's a serious business."

"I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover."

"Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit."

"I think in life, the sense of humor and comedy always exists."

"Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty."

"Seventeen, eh!"said Hagrid as he accepted a bucket-sized glass of wine from Fred."Six years to the day we met, Harry, d’yeh remember it?""Vaguely,"said Harry, grinning up at him. "Didn’t you smash down the front door, give Dudley a pig’s tail, and tell me I was a wizard?""I forge’ the details,"Hagrid chortled."

"My girlfriend is a party girl angel who can kick some arse and cook."

"What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor."

"I value humor, kindness, and the ability to tell a good story far more than money, status, or the kind of car someone drives."

"I wouldn’t feel great if you left me alone, but I wouldn’t feel bad either. I’d feel good, like I always do, which has nothing to do with you, even if you’ll have nothing to do with me."

"Religious humor is not really my area, so I probably wouldn't do anything about that, or politics or something."

"It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food."

"Candidates should be extremely cautious in displaying a sense of humor. If he or she tells a joke with a point, there is almost certain to be some minority group offended."