humor

"On a scale of 1 to extroverted, I’m a 3.14159. So is pi. I network like “the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter.” Thanks, Wikipedia!"

"There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor."

"Poison!"Grover yelped. "Don't let those things touch you or...""Or we'll die?"I guessed."Well...after you shrivel slowly to dust, yes.""Let's avoid the swords,"I decided."

"Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood."

"You used nunchucks on a moose?"Wolfe got a haunted look in his eyes. "I used all sorts of things on that bastard."

"Both of the items were used in an attempted murder, but hers was a dagger, and mine was a baby’s rubber bottle nipple. That was the last time I took a stab at love."

"I'll speak for myself, but there's a lot of humor to be found in sarcasm and darkness. You talk to any paramedic, they survive by developing a pretty off-kilter sense of humor."

"You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance."

"I've got a great sense of humor."

"What's that?""That's my attack poodle."

"Leo couldn't help smiling. "That could be fun.""Fun"she said unhappily."Blue elephants.""Blue elephants.""Kiss me you fool.""You fool."

"I love when my cat crushes his forehead into mine like my skull is an empty beer can. But it’s not—there’s still a sip left."

"I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick."

"Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."

"I sold ten bags of hellos for five bags of goodbyes. I’d say that’s a good profit. Or it was, before I blew all my goodbyes on ex lovers."

"We?"Simon looked at him in disbelief. "Are you ever going home?""What, bored with my company already?" "Let me ask you something,"Simon said. "Do you find me fascinating to be around?""What was that?"Jace said. "Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying."

"Myrnin turned away to pick up his Ben Franklin spectacles, balanced them on his nose, and looked over them to say, "Don't do drugs. I feel I ought to say that."

"Why were you lurking under our window?""Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?""Listening to the news,"said Harry in a resigned voice.His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage."Listening to the news! Again?""Well, it changes every day, you see,"said Harry."

"Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation."

"That's not a bad word...hate and war are bad words, but fuck isn't."