humor

"I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter."(Letter 16, 1657)"

"I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry."

"When people say they don’t understand my generation, I like to point out that it’s not “my” generation. I’m only co-owner with a 50% stake."

"I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep."

"I have wit in my work and a sense of humor, but I do not use irony in any way."

"A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself."

"I'm calm,"Rachel insisted. "Every time I'm around you, some monsters attack us. What's to be nervous about?""Look,"I said. "I'm sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you our or anything.""Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb.""Was it hard?"Annabeth asked."

"I am an orange construction cone, and I say to you, “Caution.” This is my advice for love—and for driving while blindfolded, which is safer than love."

"I'm a big believer in putting things off, In fact, I even put off procrastinating.-Ella Varner"

"TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public."

"It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch."

"With humor, it's so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy."

"And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders."

"Whatever else an American believes or disbelieves about himself, he is absolutely sure he has a sense of humor."

"I felt this awful obligation to be charming or at least have something to say, and the pressure of having to be charming (or merely verbal) incapacitates me."

"Okay, seriously, I dont know if this is true or not, but I heard people who use profanity are trying to compensate for their lack of you know... size"-Tuck"

"Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent."

"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."

"Merlin’s beard."

"I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't."