More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Taking a break. Been working solid for the last few hours, as opposed to working liquid, which is more drinkable. Can I pour you a glass of productivity?"
"You can never be too early to stand around and wait. You can have a seat in this chair, after I cinch the noose around my neck and you kick it out from under my legs."
"So many women are fighting to receive my love that Chuck Norris had to intervene, and instantly he was defeated by desire. #OutBoastKanye"
"The middle finger is a great body language tool for letting people know you’re upset. Poetry isn’t quite as effective in a fit of road rage."
"Together kabobs make the world better than all the Bobs combined. Well, at least ever since Bob Ross moved on to the land of the happy trees."