#cheating

"Someday I will have revenge. I know in advance to keep this to myself, and everyone will be happier. I do understand that I am expected to forgive N and his girlfriend in a timely fashion, and move on to a life of vegetarian cooking and difficult yoga positions and self-realization, and make this so much easier and more pleasant for all concerned."

"Take me now, God!"I shout to the inky sky. "I´m ready.""You´re not ready. You´re not even divorced yet,"Bunny says. "You cannot die married to that man."

"Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove."

"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."

"The snag about marriage is, it isn´t worth the divorce."

"How can I grieve what is still in motion?"I ask her. "Shoes are still dropping all over the place. I´m not kidding,"I say. "It´s Normandy out there."

"God is great and God is good,"Lisa says. "But where are the Apache attack helicopters when you need them?"

"I mentally bless and exonerate anyone who has kicked a chair out from beneath her or swallowed opium in large chunks. My mind has met their environment, here in the void. I understand perfectly."

"People generally didn't cheat in good relationships."

"I would have been a black belt in Karate much sooner, but the store was sold out of Sharpie markers."

"What irritated me most in that entire situation was the fact that Iwasn’t feeling humiliated, or annoyed, or even fooled. Betrayal waswhat I felt, my heart broken not just by a guy I was in love with, butalso by, as I once believed, a true friend."

"Buy a gift for a dog, and you'll be amazed at the way it will dance and swerve its tail, but if don't have anything to offer to it, it won't even recognize your arrival; such are the attributes of fake friends."

"He announces that lately he keeps losing things. "Like your wife and child,"I want to say, but don´t. At fourty, I´ve learned not to say everything clever, not to score every point."

"A true gentleman is one that apologizes anyways, even though he has not offended a lady intentionally. He is in a class all of his own because he knows the value of a woman's heart."

"It’s easier to hide your smoking habit on a foggy day. Let that be a lesson for you and your secret lover."

"So many events and moments that seemed insignificant add up. I remember how for the last Valentine´s Day, N gave flowers but no card. In restaurants, he looked off into the middle distance while my hand would creep across the table to hold his. He would always let go first. I realize I can´t remember his last spontaneous gesture of affection."

"I used to loathe ambivalence; now I adore it. Ambivalence is my new best friend."

"When you look at the past without God’s eyes, you subject yourself to deception. The past no longer exists and God doesn’t linger there. However, Satan will show you whatever you want to see and believe, so you will be trapped in an emotion that cannot communicate truth, beyond what you want to remember."

"They feel life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever decide to have my soul surgically removed."

"I want to write a song about retaliation called, "Oh Yeah, and I Faked Every Orgasm...While You Were Out of Town."