#food

"Do you want some fresh tomato soup to go? I’ll put it in a mesh strainer. Oh, if only love were as easy to contain as soup in a strainer."

"If two heads are better than one, then what about double chins? On that note, I will help myself to seconds."

"We provide food that customers love, day after day after day. People just want more of it."

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."

"Humor is imperative, more important than food. You have a choice when someone dies. You can lie down or get back into life. Do something for someone else."

"I mean really, how could an artistic individual stay grounded in the nitty-gritty of how many minutes per pound meat has to stay in the oven when trying to fathom the creative philosophy behind the greatest artistic minds of the world?"

"This magical, marvelous food on our plate, this sustenance we absorb, has a story to tell. It has a journey. It leaves a footprint. It leaves a legacy. To eat with reckless abandon, without conscience, without knowledge; folks, this ain't normal."

"I had eggs for breakfast. I ate them off the hood of a politician’s car, after I threw them there."

"Nobody peels a banana before stabbing themselves with it. But that’s exactly how I love—dangerously."

"Should I have a doughnut or my disgusting cardboard?” asked Gwynn, as she drew up languidly before me at a study table in a bookstore on State Street, raising a puffed rice cake in the air. My eyes narrowed attentively at her face, but as I hesitated, she announced eagerly, “Disgusting cardboard it is!"

"A Paradox, the doughnut hole. Empty space, once, but now they've learned to market even that. A minus quantity; nothing, rendered edible. I wondered if they might be used-metaphorically, of course-to demonstrate the existence of God. Does naming a sphere of nothingness transmute it into being?"

"A brick could be used to perpetually feed the hungry, stop all wars, educate the masses, and ensure everlasting peace for all populations throughout time. Wait, I’m sorry, that’s not right. I was confusing a brick with a blanket. It’s a blanket that could be used for all those things."

"Teaching kids how to feed themselves and how to live in a community responsibly is the center of an education."

"Books allow you to take flight, unlike the chicken wings I stapled to my back before eating them."

"I’m addicted to warm Thanksgiving bird meat, but I should just quit cold turkey. To me, the beginning of December is like leftover November."

"A turtle is like a lizard in a bicycle helmet, and I think that’s romantic. That reminds me, I should write a love song called, “Dinner for two—plus one."

"I don’t eat Sloppy Joes. I eat Tidy Josephs."

"Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me."

"Her love was too cold, like an anti-oven. That's called a freezer, and sometimes it burns food. She gave me heartburn, just like coffee, and it really woke me up to the reality of relationships."

"I had a missed call. It’s probably the all you can eat buffet calling to say, “Come back! We know you can eat just a little bit more."