#humour

"I’m not aspiring to be someone else – If I’m me for the rest of my life then so be it"

"What in the blue star-blazes did you see in Jason?"he asked, still forcefully but with his frustration and jealousy under better control."For one thing, Djetth, he wasn't trying to kill me!"("Marsh", heroine of Insufficient Mating Material)"

"I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that's how I know I'm a woman!"

"Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."

"Free your mind from routine, keep your brain somewhere else"

"Life is like yoga; the only way you can enjoy it is by relaxing into any position you happen to find yourself in."

"When the road ahead seems impossible, start the engine"

"Headline?"he asked."'Swing Set Needs Home,'"I said."'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'"he said."'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'"I said."

"I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck."

"Never say no to now"

"I'll go,"he said."And that's safer because?""I'm a guy.""Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?"

"If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead."

"People throw stones at you and you convert them into milestones."

"We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you"

"Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping."

"Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch."

"Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt"

"I suppose it’s not a social norm, and not a manly thing to do — to feel, discuss feelings. So that’s what I’m giving the finger to. Social norms and stuff…what good are social norms, really? I think all they do is project a limited and harmful image of people. It thus impedes a broader social acceptance of what someone, or a group of people, might actually be like."

"It is the most fun I’m ever going to have. I love to write. I love it. I mean, there’s nothing in the world I like better, and that includes sex, probably because I’m so very bad at it. It’s the greatest peace when I’m in a scene, and it’s just me and the character, that’s it, that’s where I want to live my life."

"Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way."