#humour

"He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed."

"That craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus-humping butt monkey!!"

"When asked why I don't believe in God I reply, quite simply, "vaginas"."

"Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to."

"I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that's how I know I'm a woman!"

"In life, more than in anything else, it isn’t easy to end up alive."

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

"I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?"

"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"

"Do you hate people?”“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around."

"Question everything, unless it's the answer"

"I’m not aspiring to be someone else – If I’m me for the rest of my life then so be it"

"A few years ago it dawned on me that everybody past a certain age ... pretty much constantly dreams of being able to escape from their lives. They don't want to be who they are any more. They want out. This list includes Thurston Howell the Third, Ann-Margret, the cat members of Rent, Václav Havel, space shuttle astronauts and Snuffleupagus. It's universal."

"Life would be tragic if it weren't funny."

"If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out."

"People throw stones at you and you convert them into milestones."

"I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room."

"It looked like the sort of book described in library catalogues as 'slightly foxed', although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though it had been badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well."

"You don't want him,"she said to the pink-haired girl. "He has syphilis."The girls stared. "Syphilis?""Five percent of people in America have it,"said Ty helpfully."I do not have syphilis,"Mark said angrily. "There are no sexually transmitted diseases in Faerieland!"”Sorry,"Jules said. "You know how syphilis is. Attacks the brain."

"This is Sailor Supergirl,” George says. “She knows all about black holes."