#humour

"YOU are the big drop of dew under the lotus leaf, I am the smaller one on its upper side,'said the dewdrop to the lake."

"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,"he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?"

"Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke."

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

"There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible."The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions."Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly."

"They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science."

"This is Sailor Supergirl,” George says. “She knows all about black holes."

"Do you hate people?”“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around."

"We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works."

"If you think fate is fickle, try tempting it"

"Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt"

"I am unable to believe in a God susceptible to prayer. I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits, and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds."

"Fever jumped aside just in time to dodge the shower of urine, and stumbled into the path of a religious procession - celebrants in robes and pointed hats whirling and clapping and chanting the name of some old-world prophet, 'Hari, Hari! Hari Potter!'"

"For any given problem, if there's a simple solution it will already have been applied. So, perhaps, the solution isn't as simple as you think."

"Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand."

"I'm too young, too smart and too good-looking to die."

"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand."

"The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right."

"Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future."

"Our relationship wasn't the sun, the moon, the stars, but it wasn't bullshit, either."