#humour

"I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability."

"When they’re together, the world could fall apart around them and they’d never notice or care as long as they have each other.About Alex and Brittany."

"Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that's where it should stay."

"I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room."

"We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you"

"Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping."

"Finnick?"I say, "Maybe some pants?"He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown leaving him in just his underwear. "Why? Do you find this"-- he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose -- "distracting?"I laugh. Boggs looks embarrassed and Finnick looks more like the guy I met at the Quarter Quell"

"I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine."

"Try patting them on the back or shoulder and telling them everything is going to be fine. Lots of times when girls cry, they don't want you to fix the problem, they just want to be consoled."

"I wouldn’t have minded school if they taught you important things like how to have good sex and what brand of wine is the best… But for some reason they were hell bent on teaching me algebra"

"She was an idiot. An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot."

"I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?"

"LORD ILLINGWORTH: The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life.MRS ALLONBY: And the body is born young and grows old. That is life's tragedy."

"[novan]: bassists are very good with their fingers[novan]: and some of us sing backup vocals, so that means we're good with our mouths too...(~ IM chat with Novan Chang, 18, bassist)"

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."

"I am irritated by my own writing. I am like a violinist whose ear is true, but whose fingers refuse to reproduce precisely the sound he hears within."

"If you cannot find an element of Humour in something, your not taking it seriously enough."

"The church has never been asked to explain anything, our speciality, along with ballistics, has always been the neutralisation of the overly curious mind through faith."

"People who can change and change again are so much more reliable and happier than those who can’t"

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."