#naughty

"I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those of an old man. Still, the taste of a nipple is genderless."

"The only sea I saw Was the seesaw sea With you riding on it. Lie down, lie easy. Let me shipwreck in your thighs."

"I’m a book lover. I’ve probably already fucked a whole library."

"If my remote control doubled as a dildo, I'd never get off my ass to change the channel."

"I make naked, and I make it by hand. I also make it using the rest of my body. Coming soon to a Walmart near you."

"Women should have nipples on their butts. From a design perspective, I think it would revolutionize the fashion industry."

"If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised."