Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?Ford: We're safe.Arthur: Oh good.Ford: We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.Arthur: Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of."

"For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons."

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."

"Exactly!"said Deep Thought. "So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means."

"This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy."

"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."

"So this is it,"said Arthur, "We are going to die.""Yes,"said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!"He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?"he cried."What? Where?"cried Arthur, twisting round."No, I was only fooling,"said Ford, "we are going to die after all."

"So this is it,"said Arthur, "We are going to die.""Yes,"said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!"He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?"he cried."What? Where?"cried Arthur, twisting round."No, I was only fooling,"said Ford, "we are going to die after all."

"Ford carried on counting quietly. This is about the most aggressive thing you can do to a computer, the equivalent of going up to a human being and saying "Blood...blood...blood...blood..."

"One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious."

"Arthur blinked at the screens and felt he was missing something important. Suddenly he realized what it was."Is there any tea on this spaceship?"he asked."

"The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist,"says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

"The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42!"

"This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

"I'd far rather be happy than right any day."

"Exactly!"said Deep Thought. "So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means."

"What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day."

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"

"Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now."

"The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."