Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed."

"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"

"What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day."

"I'd far rather be happy than right any day."

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."

"Exactly!"said Deep Thought. "So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means."

"This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy."

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?Ford: We're safe.Arthur: Oh good.Ford: We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.Arthur: Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of."

"The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."

"My capacity for happiness,"he added, "you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first"

"Ow! My brains!"

"Exactly!"said Deep Thought. "So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means."

"Ford carried on counting quietly. This is about the most aggressive thing you can do to a computer, the equivalent of going up to a human being and saying "Blood...blood...blood...blood..."

"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."

"So this is it,"said Arthur, "We are going to die.""Yes,"said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!"He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?"he cried."What? Where?"cried Arthur, twisting round."No, I was only fooling,"said Ford, "we are going to die after all."

"The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist,"says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now."

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."