Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

"If writers write, then rangers range. And I’d like to wake up every morning and be a mother, so I could eat my own clothes."

"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"

"I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them."

"A lot of people go searching for “Truth.” But they can’t be searching too hard, because very few of them ever think to look under my bed."

"Grandpa always used to make me ride in the bed of his pickup truck, so he could keep up his conversations with the 100-pound sack of manure he kept buckled up in the passenger seat. Grandpa said all they ever talked about was grass, but I know Grandpa used to do a little flirting, too."

"I make art for one person and one person only. And as soon as I find that one person, I sure hope he has a lot of wall space, because he’ll be getting a lot of art from me."

"The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago."

"And then he said the next time he sees me the gloves are coming off. I said, "Doc, that‘s no way to perform a prostrate exam."

"The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago."

"My parents always said that knowledge was the best gift they could give me, probably because they were too cheap to buy me Christmas or Birthday presents."

"It’s been said that the most successful people are often early risers. So that’s why I started getting up in the afternoon, which is well before any “successful” person even thinks of going to bed."