Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"

"I’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a hearty breakfast, it would really freak me out to see my breakfast grinning back. I’ve eaten a man for less than that."

"The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg my friends to treat me that well."

"I have a real problem keeping friends. I'm always running out of space in my freezer."

"I love tables. And dancing. Oh, and I love table dancing, although Grandmother always says, "Wait until we're finished eating."

"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"

"My close friends are fond of telling me that I put the “yalt” in loyalty. Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far with it, but yeah, I guess I am a pretty yalty person."

"My parents always said that knowledge was the best gift they could give me, probably because they were too cheap to buy me Christmas or Birthday presents."

"I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them."

"It’s been said that the most successful people are often early risers. So that’s why I started getting up in the afternoon, which is well before any “successful” person even thinks of going to bed."

"Moral codes are like the ocean. Some people live by them, while others, such as myself, would rather live by a lake."