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Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

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Quotes by Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

"And then he said the next time he sees me the gloves are coming off. I said, "Doc, that‘s no way to perform a prostrate exam."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"Sometimes I wish Jim Morrison were still alive, because I'd love to see a concert in which "The Doors"opened up for "The Cars."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"I’ve often wondered why more science textbooks don’t tell teenagers that the only thing sharks like to eat more than fish, are dead prostitutes."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"It’s been said that the most successful people are often early risers. So that’s why I started getting up in the afternoon, which is well before any “successful” person even thinks of going to bed."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"I’ve always felt that the best place to hide a body is in the trunk of a cop car, with a note affixed to the body that reads, “I’m sorry."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"I have a real problem keeping friends. I'm always running out of space in my freezer."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size,"and I thought, That's odd, I didn't know too many families showered together."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size,"and I thought, That's odd, I didn't know too many families showered together."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"Grandpa always used to make me ride in the bed of his pickup truck, so he could keep up his conversations with the 100-pound sack of manure he kept buckled up in the passenger seat. Grandpa said all they ever talked about was grass, but I know Grandpa used to do a little flirting, too."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"I love tables. And dancing. Oh, and I love table dancing, although Grandmother always says, "Wait until we're finished eating."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"Sometimes I wish Jim Morrison were still alive, because I'd love to see a concert in which "The Doors"opened up for "The Cars."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"My close friends are fond of telling me that I put the “yalt” in loyalty. Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far with it, but yeah, I guess I am a pretty yalty person."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to call some plays."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"I’d love to work with an Asian guy named Wu Hu, because just saying his name would get me all pumped up and excited."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"I’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a hearty breakfast, it would really freak me out to see my breakfast grinning back. I’ve eaten a man for less than that."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"If writers write, then rangers range. And I’d like to wake up every morning and be a mother, so I could eat my own clothes."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg my friends to treat me that well."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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"I’ve always felt that the best place to hide a body is in the trunk of a cop car, with a note affixed to the body that reads, “I’m sorry."
— Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
Read More