humor

"Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thing,” as I point with my pointy finger."

"If the blood humor is too strong and robust, calm it with balance and harmony."

"Nothing like a little judicious levity."

"I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat"bullshit. We're a virus with shoes."

"Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh."

"Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against the floor, and leave tearstains all over your pillowcase, sheets, and boomerang collection."

"Writing is not for me. I completely lose my sense of humor when I write. I become extremely pathetic, very sensational. Images give me possibilities that I don't have with words."

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment."

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."

"There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'"

"Down the road, I'll probably have a kid or two or three. And there will probably be political events or spiritual things to comment on, and humor."

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."

"Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries."

"Stairs,"Valkyrie said, disappointed."Not just ordinary stairs,"Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs.""Really?""Oh, yes."She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?""They just are.""In what way?""In a magicky way."She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?""Not really."

"A circular table that spins around is a great way to make a romantic dinner for two with three people less awkward. I’ll pay for myself, I promise."

"Hale."Kat sighed. "The headmaster's car? Really? That's not to cliched for you?"What can I say?"He shrugged. "I'm an old-fashioned guy. Besides, it's a classic for a reason."He leaned against the window. "It's good to see you, Kat."Kat didn't know what to say. It's good to see you, too? Thanks for getting me kicked out? Is it possible you've gotten even hotter? I think I might have missed you?"

"You've got to get obsessed and stay obsessed."

"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."

"A crossbow?” Pigeon asked.I left my battle-ax in my other jeans,” the man said."

"I was just shy of reaching my goal. My goal was to be more extroverted, so being just shy meant I completely failed."