#humor

"Sometimes I think books are the only friends worth having."

"Isn't it strange that I know you'd risk your life to save mine, but I don't even know what your favorite color is?"

"I’m forever near a stereo saying, ‘What the fuck is this garbage?’ And the answer is always the Red Hot Chili Peppers."

"I try to avoid having thoughts. They lead to other thoughts, and—if you’re not careful—those lead to actions. Actions make you tired. I have this on rather good authority from someone who once read it in a book."

"The most temptation I'd experienced had been with Tomas, the Senate's spy who had been feeding off me without permission, and Mircea, who was probably plotting some nefarious scheme. I have no taste in men."

"Was this some new level of depravity? Had he developed a spinster fetish?"

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."

"It crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman."

"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."

"There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal."

"Anyone who is considered funny will tell you, sometimes without even your asking, that deep inside they are very serious, neurotic, introspective people."

"Before I could figure out how to apologize for being such an idiot, she tackled me with a hug, then pulled away just as quickly. "I'm glad you're not a guinea pig.""Me, too."I hoped my face wasn't as red as it felt."

"Rhyme vs. Reason {Couplet} Do not try to make rhyme of reason,nor reason of rhyme;For the former's too systematic,the latter's too sublime."

"We have to be back in three hours,"Ronan said. "I just fed Chainsaw but she'll need it again.""This,"Gansey replied "is precisely why I didn't want to have a baby with you."

"One Philosophical Question, Two Faces [10w] 'Is life wort living?' is tantamount to'Does God exist?"

"Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your life by avoiding real human contact."

"Adrian was easily distractible by wacky topics and shiny objects."

"Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on."

"Slumber party with Dracula, all things considerd why not?"

"I’m a book lover. I’ve probably already fucked a whole library."