#humor

"Do your thing and don't care if they like it."

"Dogs [10w] Dogs never lie about love,but occasionally fake an orgasm."

"I had a dream about you. Our relationship faded from red to white, and somewhere in the middle, in the pink zone, I told you I loved you and you returned it. However, at white, our relationship went black and I sought red in the arms of another woman."

"Hmm…now that I think about it, housecats are often coddled and petted. You don’t pet me nearly enough. You must be a lax owner. How selfish of you to deprive your cat of attention."

"She'd also called me brave...unless she was talking to the catfish."

"It's not gray,"Clary felt compelled to point out. "It's green.""If there was such a thing as terminal literalism, you'd have died in childhood,"said Jace."

"I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?"

"The Poet's Way Are we ever sure what we do,will endure and get its due?No.But we do it anyway.For that is the poet's way."

"The Doctor: I've seen bigger.Clara: Really?The Doctor: Are you joking? It's massive!"

"Percy was getting tired of water.If he said that aloud, he would probably get kicked out of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, but he didn’t care."

"Perfect Sex [10w] Perfects sex balances the conflicting pleasures of submission and mastery."

"Of all the crap, crap, crappy nights I've ever had in the whole of my crap life. On a scale of one to 10, we're talking...a minus 6. And it's not like I even have very high standards."

"Just about a month from now I'm set adrift, with a diploma for a sail and lots of nerve for oars."

"To be invisible, paint yourself with the direct shade of zero. Leave nothing to chance, by taking nothing with you wherever you go."

"Have you any other objection than your belief of my indifference?"- Elizabeth Bennet"

"The poor things keep calling in those – those pumbles, I think they're called – you know, the ones who mend pipes and things – ""Plumbers?""– exactly, yes, but of course they're flummoxed."

"I'm Not Skidaddling Down That Slippery Slope First you let sleeping dogs lie,next you allow all pets to prevaricate."

"Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me.No hope, no harm; just another false alarm"

"I dreamed I was buying new shoes last night,"said Ron. "What d'ya think that's gonna mean?""Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something,"said Harry."

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."