#network

"Networking is drinking the nectar of interconnectedness. And I’ve been drinking since noon, so I may need @ryanlilly to drive me home."

"There’s sleep to be found here, and I’m going to find it—with my eyes closed. I’m like Sherlock Holmes meets Helen Keller. #Networking"

"Everything I’ve learned about handshakes is from hands-on experience. Due to hygiene, I only network with rubber glove manufacturers."

"That point in the sky where yellow meets blue, that’s a handshake I want to see at a #networking event. Sunglasses sold separately."

"You don’t need batteries for an introduction. Buy my Networking in a Box today and see for yourself. (Handshakes sold separately.)"

"Behold, the number five is at hand. Grab it and shake and harness the power of networking."

"People don’t buy products—they buy people. It’s called slavery. I mean networking. It’s called networking."

"I don’t like my circle of friends, so I’m changing them to a square. Love shapes our lives, so why not shape who we love?"

"Networking is more quality, and less quantity. It’s better to form a solid connection with one new person, than a liquid connection with ten. You don’t want people to think you drink too much."

"Having beef with someone is unnecessary and avoidable. Whatever the issue, if not positive, it is an opportunity to cut the excess fat from an unhealthy dietary network. Simply excuse yourself from the table of negativity and lean forward in peace."

"I have two hands, so when I’m networking and I meet two new people, is it OK to shake both their hands at once? Or would it be more appropriate to organize a group hug?"

"I have rubbed shoulders with the rich, the powerful, and the armless. It’s how to network when handshakes aren’t an option."

"Networking isn’t synonymous with partying. If you’re doing it right, partying seems libraryesque in comparison."

"My handshake is as firm as cooked spaghetti. So, do you prefer your introductions with Alfredo or marinara sauce?"

"I meet people to know I’m not alone. I network like an astronaut on the moon."

"My advice to aspiring writers is to read more, write more, and network more. More, more, and more. Then, after you've done all that, do it some more."

"#Networking is people looking for people looking for people. As for me, I’m more of a birdwatcher."

"Last weekend I went out of my comfort zone to go hang out with people I’d only heard about, and I met one new person who turned out to be a very valuable contact. I should try networking at my family reunions more often, because that’s how I finally met my dad."

"If you merge an emergency with a mannequin, that’s how I look at networking events. To make each handshake more feel more personal, I try to wear the thinnest rubber gloves I can find."

"On a scale of 1 to extroverted, I’m a 3.14159. So is pi. I network like “the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter.” Thanks, Wikipedia!"