Terry Pratchett

"This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic."

"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this."

"It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it."

"Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom."

"[Science fiction is] out in the mainstream now. You can tell by the way mainstream literary authors pillage SF while denying they're writing it!"

"Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them."

"It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living."

"Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one."

"In the first book of my Discworld series, published more than 26 years ago, I introduced Death as a character; there was nothing particularly new about this - death has featured in art and literature since medieval times, and for centuries we have had a fascination with the Grim Reaper."

"If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship."

"Books must be treated with respect, we feel that in our bones, because words have power. Bring enough words together they can bend space and time."

"If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you."

"This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic."

"The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head."

"I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel."

"Anyone with half a mind could see that,"said Tiffany.Miss Tick sighed. "Yes. But sometimes it's so hard to find half a mind when you need one."

"Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could listen in a cutting way. She could make something sound stupid just by hearing it."

"I read anything that’s going to be interesting. But you don’t know what it is until you’ve read it. Somewhere in a book on the history of false teeth there’ll be the making of a novel."

"First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft."

"My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat."