humor

"I’m so restless when I rest that I make sleepwalkers look like statues. If The Thinker could run 26.2 miles, it would need a baseball glove to catch me."

"Lying in bed listless, I wrote a list. I then had a list, but I was still listless. Perhaps because my list was of all the things I love, and every entry was you."

"All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed."

"I have a really dark, rich, thick sense of humor."

"If I had no clothes it’d be winter. If I were naked, it’d be the truth and we could lie together."

"Trying to remember a dream from a decade ago is like trying to catch fog in a coffee filter. I could subsist on morning mist."

"Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it."

"An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need to have."

"I like to deal with EVERY aspect of our condition, and that means terror and humor in equal mix. Some books have more room for humor than others."

"Piece of Heaven?""No, that other place I'm going to go to for thinking what I'm thinking."

"I make love like my afternoon shadow is long. I'll bring the foreplay, if you bring the guacamole. (Yes, I know there is a 99-cent upcharge.)"

"Regardless of what I think about Islam or Wicca or any other religion, the fact is that it's a group of people. Every faith has its ceremonies. And since it's made up of people, every faith also has its assholes."

"Hell's holy stars and freaking stones shit bells."

"Impropriety is the soul of wit."

"As an actor, I'm attracted to drama; as a director, it's humor - because it's the story of my life, and I can't be that serious about it. Being alone is a big theme in all my movies, both as a director and as an actress."

"Oh, goodie,"Puck said as I stepped forward. "I'm going to have a rash in the most uncomfortable places."

"Well", Fang said, mimicking a thick Southern drawl. "I must say its mighty nice of them Daimons to clean up after themselves when you kill them"He held his hands up to them. "Look Ma, no mess.""Does Fang have an off switch?"Talon asked Vane."

"Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head."Eddie DeChooch"

"I read the script and decide if a particular character looks fun to play. I look for complexity and a sense of humor. Those are crucial, real things to life."

"Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground."