humor

"A love story in six words: Hello. Goodbye. In between was marriage."

"You're getting into some kind of shape, cop."Aw, come on, now."Butch grinned. "Don't let that shower we took go to your head."Rhage fired a towel at the male. "Just pointing out your beer gut's gone."It was a Scotch pot. And I don't miss it."

"In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded."

"Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another."

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"There is something really horrific for any human being who feels he is being consumed by other people. I'm talking about a writer's critics, who don't address what you've written, but want to probe into your existence and magnify the trivia of your life without any sense of humor, without any sense of context."

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment."

"I don't have hard numbers about this, but the impression I get is that the amount of eyeballs you get from being on the humor shelf at Barnes & Noble - it is almost insignificant."

"We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment."

"Russian humor is to adapt or make some sense or nonsense out of the insanity of their lives."

"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?"and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off."

"Before I speak, I have something important to say."

"Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one."

"I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family."

"You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down."

"There's public humor, and there's private humor, and they're all appropriate in their own way, and you shouldn't - just as you wouldn't have a megaphone and say certain things that you would say around your friends - things that are perfectly all right within your close social group with whom you share a certain context."

"I've been encouraging documentary filmmakers to use more and more humor, and they're loath to do that because they think if it's a documentary it has to be deadly serious - it has to be like medicine that you're supposed to take. And I think it's what keeps the mass audience from going to documentaries."

"I held her gaze as I held her in my arms. With all that holding I couldn’t hold on to the moment, and it slipped past me into the lonely past."

"It unscrews the other way."

"As people, we're generally optimistic, no matter how disabled our lives are, and we find the humor in the darkest situations."