humor

"Women should have nipples on their butts. From a design perspective, I think it would revolutionize the fashion industry."

"To Garan's credit, the treatment of Dellian prisoners did change after that. One particularly laconic man, after a session in which Fire learned positively nothing, thanked her for it specifically. "Best dungeons I ever been in,"he said, chewing on a toothpick."Wonderful,"Garan grumbled when he had gone. "We'll grow a reputation for our kindness to lawbreakers."

"With Portlandia, I don't think our intention is always to find something funny. Sometimes the humor comes from taking something really seriously. We're okay with making somebody feel uncomfortable or uneasy."

"The story so far:In the beginning the Universe was created.This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

"Grandfather informs me that is not possible."

"My ex-girlfriend was exquisite, while my current girlfriend is merely quisite. The ex always makes the past seem more excellent than the present."

"Roosevelt's humor was broad, his manner friendly. Of wit there was little; of philosophy, none. What did he possess? Intuition, inspiration, love of adventure."

"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."

"The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse"

"There's clearly humor that goes too far and humor that is violative, and we are engaged in our humor in a complex call-and-response with one another. I'm telling you a joke to see if you think that it's funny... but if one of us violates some principle or touches on a particularly tender spot of the other, normally we adjust to that and move on."

"But Piglet is so small that he slips into a pocket, where it is very comfortable to feel him when you are not quite sure whether twice seven is twelve or twenty-two."

"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to."

"I know - I'll play you for it,"Alice suggested. "Rock, paper, scissors."Jasper chuckled and Edward sighed."Why don't you just tell me who wins?"Edward said wryly.Alice beamed. "I do. Excellent."

"I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor."

"I seem to have a one-track mind. When I was having babies, I did nothing else. When I do pictures, I go all out. I really think it is easier to manage my seven. You can't afford to humor each one of them. They have to learn to do things when they are told."

"We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf."

"I had a polynomial once. My doctor removed it."

"Life sucks, and then you die..."

"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?"and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off."

"Why do all your brilliant ideas involve felonies?"