humor

"The planet is fine. The people are fucked."

"There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about."

"I don't have a disregard for my reader in humor pieces."

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building."

"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."

"Gabi to Marcus "I can't believe out of one hundred thousand sperm, you were the fastest!"

"Before I could figure out how to apologize for being such an idiot, she tackled me with a hug, then pulled away just as quickly. "I'm glad you're not a guinea pig.""Me, too."I hoped my face wasn't as red as it felt."

"I like grape juice. Fermented grape juice—wine. It’s the drink of choice for champions. I know because I asked a bunch of winners."

"How could I be sleeping with this particular man.... Surely only true love could justify my lack of taste."

"I'm an off-the-charts introvert. To me, being around groups of strangers is exhausting. I've had to sort of train myself to think about two tactics: finding common ground and invoking humor."

"Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers."

"I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight."

"Picking my topics is sort of a process of elimination for me. Most things don't work for me. I like to cover science and unexpected things happening in labs. Also, theoretical research doesn't work for my style. I need scenes and interactions. Then, humor. I'm having the most fun when I can have fun with my work."

"Look, let me just say it: He was hot. A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy . . . well."

"Someone asked me what the key to being a good frontman was, and I think having a sense of humor about it is pretty near the top of that list. It's a very strange place to be in, and I don't take that role too seriously."

"Oh Tigger, where are your manners?""I don’t know, but I bet they’re having more fun than I am."

"So it's true. You can walk in sunlight. I thought perhaps it might have worn off.""If I feel the urge to burst into flames, I'll let you know."

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"I always had to genuinely like the actors I worked with and use my enthusiasm and vision to give them confidence to push their creativity and their humor."

"If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it."