humor

"Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment."

"I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them."

"You are my whole heart, Scarlet. And this is breaking it.'My heart cracked open and clear dropped out of me. My mouth opened, and I looked round me and stamped my foot. 'Does this look like a good time to tell me that, you damn stupid boy?' I meant to sound mean but my voice wobbled. 'Now?'He gave a little smile. 'My foul-mouthed warrior."

"I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone."

"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."

"People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail."

"That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy."Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things."But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror."I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?"Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me."

"Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't."

"My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored."

"Wit and playfulness represent a desperately serious transcendence of evil. Humor is both a form of wisdom and a means of survival."

"I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."

"An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup."

"I know I love her, because when I see her my heart beats like a drum. If she played guitar and sang, we could start a band."

"I can still kick your pony-lovin' butt with twice this much pain."Thomas shrugged, "I do love ponies. Wish I could eat one right now."

"I was a precocious only child, and then I went through a fat, awkward stage for several years, so I learned to fall back on my humor and personality when I was growing up. It's how you survive, so I think it was more of a natural progression for me, developing into comedy."

"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you"with "May I take your order?"

"In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated."

"A crossbow?” Pigeon asked.I left my battle-ax in my other jeans,” the man said."

"That's ridiculous."Especially the part about Christian being manly."

"Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset."