#humor

"The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizeable proportion of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this.The previous sentence makes sense. That is not the problem.This is:Change.Read it through again and you'll get it."

"They say there are twelve steps to quitting something. But what if that something is playing with a slinky? Seems like you should be able to quit playing with a slinky using no steps."

"Rule number 2 - don't listen to me!"Arriane laughed, "I'm certifiably insane!"

"The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life."

"You have come to earth to entertain and to be entertained."

"Notoriety vs. Anonymity [10w] 'Tis better to live with notoriety,than die of anonymity."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

"Want coffee?"I asked, as I headed that way."It's three thirty in the morning.""Okay. Want coffee?"

"Scientology [10w] There's nothing more oppressive than the ignorance of foolish belief."

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."

"A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it."

"This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic."

"That's ridiculous."Especially the part about Christian being manly."

"I'm making a listI'm making a list of things I must sayFor politeness,And goodness and kindness and gentlenessSweetness and rightness:HelloPardon meHow are you?Excuse meBless youMay I?Thank youGoodbyeIf you know some that I've forgot,Please stick them in you eye!"

"Thorn [5w] Every thorn has its rose."

"Barzûl!"

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?"I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!"I yelled."

"Damien has died and gone straight to gay boy heaven,' Shaunee said..."

"I prefer long-distance relationships. If we were dating, would you be offended if I asked you to stand back a few feet?"

"I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!"