#Price

"Love will find you eventually, I guarantee it. That’s why you need to buy an invisible cloak from me for the one-time low price of $77,777.77. Offer valid for emotional invalids only."

"With the price of life these days, you've got to get everything for free you can."

"There's a terrible price to pay for stress in your life - it really takes a hit on your heart."

"There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99."

"My love is expansive. Your love is expensive."

"You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale."

"Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours."

"Squeeze out the competition—with hugs. I’m giving out FREE hugs while samples last. After that I’ll have to charge an arm and a leg—or maybe just two arms."

"I’m a master of encouragement. Why should I do work myself when the price of getting others to do it for me is as cheap as cheering them on?"

"The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run."

"I’d rather sell one thing for one million dollars, than sell one million things for one dollar each. I feel the same about my love and women."

"77 degrees in the fall feels cold, and 77 degrees in the spring feels hot. That’s why I’m selling year-round-nudity for half-price."

"I’m giving a free concert tonight. Seating is limited, so bring your own toilet. While there is no admission price, if you bring 100 dollars, it’s like a roll of toilet paper."

"My heart can hold all the love you give me. If you need to quantify it to properly price it for sale, it would be one gallon."

"I should open up a dry cleaners/pizza parlor. Extra Stain Sauce will be free, but removing it out of your clothes will cost you."

"A work of art that contains theories is like an object on which the price tag has been left."

"Half-assing it twice isn’t giving it 100%, but both can be yours for the one-time low-price of half off. Also on SALE now: My love. Order yours today."

"Back when I was a competitive swimmer, I used to dream of going to the Olympics. But then I changed my mind, once I found out how expensive the tickets are."

"I want to create a 3-4 deal—buy three for the price of four. Offer valid for any product but love, which is one for the price of two only."

"The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it."