humor

"Love has a certain weightlessness to it, much as my meaty penis would on the moon."

"It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one."

"I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser."

"They turned to Angel. "We will call you Little One,"the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense with the whole confusing name thing."Okay,"said Angel agreeably. "I'll call you Guy in a White Lab Coat."He frowned."That can be his Indian name,"I suggested."

"I wholesale wholesome, and sometimes I even halfsale it. But even when I halfsale, I still charge 100%. That’s the Zeno Discount."

"Once we got over the origin story, we could really delve deeper into their lives and characters and angst. So this movie actually has more heart, more humor."

"Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?""Yes.""You called her a liar?""Yes.""You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?""Yes.""Have a biscuit, Potter."

"It's never just a game when you're winning."

"Malachi scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane.""They didn't,"Magnus said. "Your wards are down.""Really?"the Consul's voice dripped sarcasm. "I hadn't noticed."Magnus looked concerned. "That's terrible. Someone should have told you."He glanced at Luke. "Tell him the wards are down."

"Humor is the affectionate communication of insight."

"Trees shaped like deer should not be ridden like benches if they get stuck up in other trees. No hunting farming allowed. Fishing only."

"Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together."

"I read the script and decide if a particular character looks fun to play. I look for complexity and a sense of humor. Those are crucial, real things to life."

"I want to sprint into her open arms, but I run as fast as two shoes tied together and thrown over a telephone wire. I’m like Roger Bannister, now that he’s in a wheelchair."

"I think people appreciate a songwriter who shows different sides. The whole angst thing is cool, but if that's all you've got, it's just boring. Everything I write, whether it's happy or sad, has a sense of humor to it."

"I meet people to know I’m not alone. I network like an astronaut on the moon."

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."

"If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?"

"Truth would quickly cease to be stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it."

"Here,"Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. "Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone."He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the screwdriver from Claire's numbed fingers, and fastened it with a couple of deft, fast movements. "I'll be your hands."She wanted to cry, because it was so sweet, but it wouldn't do any good."