humor

"I let out a laugh that sounded more like the yip of a startled poodle. "Superp-powers? I wish. My powers aren't winning me a slot on the Cartoon Network anytime soon... except as a comic relief. Ghost Whisperer Junior. Or Ghost Screamer, more like it. Tune in, every week, as Chloe Saunders runs screaming from yet another ghost looking for her help."Okay, superpower might be pushing it."

"I want to start a business making mint-flavored sunshine that comes in a can half full of meow-free rainbows. (Leprechauns sold separately.)"

"I still can't believe,"Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

"People come up to me as I leave the stage after a performance and tell me tey saw my mother onstage with me every time I sing. I keep a sense of humor about it."

"Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis."

"Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can."

"We get to live in a time that we get to use social media as a tool. It's not just a face on a piece of paper, and that's what makes you someone's favorite model. We can have a very similar sense of humor as someone, and that's why we're their favorite model, or our personal style, off the runway, is why we're their favorite."

"Okay, God, I thought. Get me out of this and I’ll stop my half-assed church-going ways. You got me past a pack of Strigoi tonight. I mean, trapping that one between the doors really shouldn't have worked, so clearly you're on board. Let me get out of here, and I’ll...I don’t know. Donate Adrian’s money to the poor. Get baptized. Join a convent. Well, no. Not that last one."

"We seemed to be trapped in an episode of One Life To Waste. It's all very dull."

"Most men don't seem to get that telling a pissed-off woman to calm down is like throwing gunpowder on a fire.” ~ Liberty Jones"

"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."

"Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head."Eddie DeChooch"

"Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called."

"We rode the merry-go-round like a couple of lovers. We weren’t though; we were just two horse enthusiasts from two different worlds (I think she was from Mars)."

"I sleep when I blink. I dream like I love—continuously."

"Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thing,” as I point with my pointy finger."

"And for my family, comedically, that was the key to a lot of the humor."

"With friends like me, who needs mannequins? My love for you is statuesque. Come, let us dance like we’re made of stone."

"I think it's because it's so different and it takes risks. Plus, it's really smart humor. It gives the audience credit in terms of not needing to tell them when to laugh. I love that about the show. There's no laugh track."