humor

"(Media question to Beatles during first U.S. tour 1964)"How do you find America?""Turn left at Greenland."

"Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don't be sorry."

"I don't have a very quick sense of humor."

"Right,"she said, "We're going to the Land of the Dead and I shouldn't think negative."

"Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure."

"People who know me know I have a sense of humor that can really push the envelope."

"‎No people whose word for 'yesterday' is the same as their word for 'tomorrow' can be said to have a firm grip on the time."

"One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer "a deck of cards"or "Anna Karenina"when the obvious answer is "a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want."

"Don’t ever let the sun set on our love. Not even if it’s so gorgeous it’d make a great postcard. $1.99, if interested."

"When in doubt, look intelligent."

"My definition of dictionary can’t be found in the dictionary. Dictionary—A linguistic prison, confining words to well-defined cells, with little chance of parole."

"I think superheroes are heroes with flaws, and in their flaws, there is a sense of humor."

"Death didn't bother me much. Strong Christian and all that. Method of death did. Being eaten alive. One of my top three ways not to go out."

"Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge."

"Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake."

"I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time."

"What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?"

"I was born in England - though both of my parents are American - and there's something about the 'Muppets' where they have this combination of English and American humor."

"The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks."

"What...what about when I'm married?”“We'll buy a cot. Your husband can sleep on that when he visits."