humor

"I like pink."Lucius sniffed. "It's just red's sorry, weak cousin."

"My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada."

"As a person, he was wonderful. He really was a great person. He was full of life. He had a great sense of humor. Very talented, of course, but very caring to his parents. There was a very endearing quality about Elvis."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

"I make naked, and I make it by hand. I also make it using the rest of my body. Coming soon to a Walmart near you."

"Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log."

"I'm telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.''I would,' I said, 'but unfortunately, there are no gorgeous, all-powerful, all-knowing gods around here. I'd even settle for a demigod. It's a step down, I know. But alas, there are nothing but low-brained mortals here. And half-brains, like you."

"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me."

"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."

"I did the 'Bionic Woman,' which of course had a lot of humor in it, and that was really a function of a lot of the ad-libbing and the things that I did in it."

"The last time I wore an animal hide; but this time I settled for this."Eric had been wearing a long trench coat. Now he threw it off dramatically, and I could only stand and stare. Normally, Eric was a blue-jeans-and-T-shirt kind of guy. Tonight, he wore a pink tank top and Lycra leggings[...]They were pink and aqua, like the swirls down the side of Jason's truck."

"Caring about someone isn't complicated. It isn't easy. But it isn't complicated, either. Kinda like lifting the engine block out of a car."

"Kat laughed. 'Who wants to live forever?'Kish put his hand up. 'For the record, I do.'Sin scowled at him. 'Then why do you irritate me so often?'Suicidal tendencies are inherent in my species?"

"I just invented a device that eliminates vice. It looks like a bottle of booze, only it’s empty, because I just drank it."

"Har. Bloody. Har."

"Inconceivable!""You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!"

"So many books, so little time."

"I knew I could do it all this time,” said Harry, “Because I'd already done it... does that make sense?"

"Poirot,"I said. "I have been thinking.""An admirable exercise my friend. Continue it."