humor

"Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now."

"It unscrews the other way."

"I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker."

"Sometimes Americans don't quite get my sense of humor. My good ol' British sarcasm seems to go over their heads."

"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster."

"But Piglet is so small that he slips into a pocket, where it is very comfortable to feel him when you are not quite sure whether twice seven is twelve or twenty-two."

"Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it."

"Here’s what I’d love to see: A vending machine that dispenses cats for petting on your lunch break. Instead of money, the machine accepts hugs."

"Your hair is still wet!"

"Sebastian just smiled. “I could hear your heart beating,” he said softly. “When you were watching me with Valentine. Did it bother you?”“That you seem to be dating my dad?” Jace shrugged. "You’re a little young for him, to be honest.”“What?” For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted."

"Robert Walker as Bruno was excellent. He had elegance and humor, and the proper fondness for his mother."

"Promise me, Amelie, that you’ll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love.”“I hardly think there’s any chance of that,” Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity."

"It's snowing still,"said Eeyore gloomily."So it is.""And freezing.""Is it?""Yes,"said Eeyore. "However,"he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately."

"If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble."

"The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense."

"But it also became the experience, or was the experience, of the writers who were attracted to this kind of humor. They're all men or women who come from the same kind of experience in their own lives."

"I try to find humor in everything I do, because I think all great plays - even great tragedies - have enormous humor in them."

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."

"if something is there, you can only see it with your eyes open, but if it isn't there, you can see it just as well with your eyes closed. That's why imaginary things are often easier to see than real ones."

"We spend money that we do not have, on things we do not need, to impress people who do not care."