humor

"The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be."

"Humor levels the playing field. I understood that early on - that was something I had."

"Did someone just call me the wine dude?” he asked in a lazy drawl. “It’s Bacchus, please. Or Mr. Bacchus. Or Lord Bacchus. Or, sometimes, Oh-My-Gods-Please-Don’t-Kill-Me, Lord Bacchus."

"One thing I often get carried away with is piggyback rides."

"I never wanted to do observational humor because I never wanted to tell people what they were seeing."

"If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now."But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast."

"My heart is spinning. Love is a tornado. Will you be my Kansas?"

"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right."

"The covers of this book are too far apart."

"A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?"

"Did he just rip out the engine?"I asked."Yes", Saiman said. "And now he is demolishing the Maserati with it."Ten seconds later Curran hurled the twisted wreck of black and orange that used to be the Maserati into the wall.The first melodic notes of an old song came from the computer. I glanced at Saiman.He shrugged. "It begged for a soundtrack."

"Part of my humor is the fact that I love coming out of left field. I don't want people to expect what is going to happen next."

"This is the best night of my life,"Raffy says, crying."Raffy, half our House has burnt down,"I say wearily. "We don't have a kitchen.""Why do you always have to be so pessimistic?"she asks. "We can double up in our rooms and have a barbecue every night like the Cadets."Silently I vow to keep Raffy around for the rest of my life."

"Harry,"Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, "what you know about women, I could juggle."

"Let's be reasonable and add an eighth day to the week that is devoted exclusively to reading."

"Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."

"Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read."

"That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy."Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things."But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror."I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?"Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me."

"I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry."

"We made love like a goat has four legs like a table. If your dining room table can walk, it’s best to eat while sitting in wheelchairs."