humor

"Are you tired, irritable, or suffering from heartburn? Ask your doctor if my love is right for you. 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 9 out of 10 is 90%."

"I held her gaze as I held her in my arms. With all that holding I couldn’t hold on to the moment, and it slipped past me into the lonely past."

"Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold."

"What we're doing is fun - if you have any sense of humor at all!"

"Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car."

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

"It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you."

"As long as we don't die, this is gonna be one hell of a story."

"I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn't notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway."

"Life is about having an attitude of gratitude. And grabitude. Seriously, you’ve got to take stuff. What, do you think someone’s just going to hand you what you want?"

"I rode an elevator with a guy who was whistling the tune of 'this is the song that never ends'. Putting that on me? Come on dude.."

"I'll go,"he said."And that's safer because?""I'm a guy.""Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?"

"And I loved Fats Waller. I love his instrumental abilities, his vocal abilities and his sense of humor."

"When I started, I wanted to be thought of as tortured and seductive, not funny, but humor tends to be a reflexive part of a person's sensibility. It's an almost impossible thing to teach anyone, which leads me to believe that it's intuitive."

"Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh."

"Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one."

"Taking a break. Been working solid for the last few hours, as opposed to working liquid, which is more drinkable. Can I pour you a glass of productivity?"

"There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble."

"Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana."

"I was a product of a divorced family and I used humor as a weapon to combat sadness. I used comedy to make my mother laugh in light of the darkness that she faced, and to me it became a very powerful tool at a very young age, at six. I saw how therapeutic it could be."