humor

"When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone."

"Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor."

"When I started out, it was around the whole 9/11 - Islamophobia was just sort of hitting a second wind. Obviously that informed a lot of my humor, and it influenced a lot of what I was talking about on stage because it was extremely relevant at the time."

"Eric moved the broom experimentally and made an attempt to sweep the glass into the pan while it lay in the middle of the floor. Of course, the pan slid away. Eric scowled.I'd finally found something Eric did poorly."

"Sometimes I find I'm wearing a divided, split brain in terms of drama and humor."

"Because I was a television writer for many years, I write very conversationally. I put things straight, and with a lot of humor."

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart"

"If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is certain to disagree with you sooner or later."

"A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it."

"Um,"Doc said in a mild voice, "medically speaking, I'm not sure that was the most helpful thing for his condition.""But I feel better,"Jared answered, sullen.Doc smiled the tiniest smile. "Well, maybe a few more minutes of unconsciousness won't kill him."

"You didn't have to come after me.""Yes, I did,"he said. "You're far too inexperienced to protect yourself in a hostile situation without me.""That's sweet. Maybe I'll forgive you.""Forgive me? Fro what?""Fro telling me to shut up."His eyes narrowed. "I did not... Well, I did, But you were-""Never mind."

"It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."

"An alcoholic is someone you don't like, who drinks as much as you do."

"There's no trouble in this world so serious that it can't be cured with a hot bath, a glass of whiskey, and the Book of Common Prayer."

"[In the Universe it may be that] Primitive life is very common and intelligent life is fairly rare. Some would say it has yet to occur on Earth."

"There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva"

"If you're feeling blue, lock yourself in a room, stand in front of a mirror, and dance - and laugh at yourself and be sexy. Dance the silliest and ugliest you've ever danced. Make fun of yourself and try to recover your sense of humor."

"A sense of humor saves your life, and being able to make friends wherever you go."

"What are you talking about?"Narcissus demanded. "I am amazing. Everyone knows this.""Amazing at pure suck,"Leo said. "If I was as suck as you, I'd drown myself. Oh wait, you already did that."

"I didn’t tackle him. I gave him a flying hug. Sometimes love is up in the air until it hits you."