humor

"Once I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall."

"Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on TheeAnd I'll forgive Thy great big one on me."

"Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough."

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."

"I'm not a particularly dark individual. I have my moments, it's true, but I do have a sense of humor."

"There are pockets of wealth in this country. Mostly those pockets are in the politicians’ pants."

"I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them."

"Claire was struggling through last summer’s diary volume when Myrnin popped in through the portal, wearing a big floppy black hat and a kind of crazy/stylish pimp coat that covered him from neck to ankles, black leather gloves, and a black and silver walking stick with a dragon’s head on it. And, on his lapel was a button that said, If you can read this, thank a teacher."

"You look too pretty to be useful.""Truer words were never spoken."

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"

"I have a beard of fog that I wear on misty mornings. It’s not cigarette smoke, but I’d understand if you wanted to shave it off and inhale it."

"I've never met a person who has more integrity than my husband. I respect that. There's his humor and intelligence, too, and he's really cute, all those things - but if you don't respect your partner, you'll get sick of him."

"Roosevelt's humor was broad, his manner friendly. Of wit there was little; of philosophy, none. What did he possess? Intuition, inspiration, love of adventure."

"I think God has a sense of humor, and the way my lessons come from God is very funny. I have to laugh at myself even if it's a tough lesson."

"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."

"Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal."

"The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are..."

"I do not,"I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly."

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."