humor

"Rule of life. If you bother to ask someone’s advice, then bother to listen to it."

"So, I'm thinking of a name for a villain that has a sense of humor. I thought of 'The Joker' as a name, and as soon as I thought that, I associate it with the playing card, as my family had a tradition of champion playing; my brother was a contract champion bridge player. There were always cards around the house."

"Alas! Earwax!"

"The best scary movies have great humor in them and a great story."

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know."

"You can’t win in love. But if you could, I’d be the clear victor. Vodka is also clear, and I must be drunk."

"Oh, we're playing nice now? Shall we have tea first? Brew up a nice pot of kiss-my-ass?"

"Jeez, Hazel,"Percy said, "tell your horse to watch his language."Hazel tried not to laugh. "What did he say?""With the cussing removed? He said he can get us to the top."Frank looked incredulous. "I thought the horse couldn't fly!"This time Arion whinnied so angrily, even Hazel could guess he was cursing."Dude,"Percy told the horse, "I've gotten suspended for saying less than that..."

"My dad is just like everybody else's dad. I see him as kind of a goofy guy with a great sense of humor. I try to get in a battle of wits with him, but he always gets me. I emulate him because I've never seen anyone work as hard as he does."

"Babe!"

"A woman who knows that she doesn't have to get all decked out to look good is sexy. A woman who can make you feel smart with her conversation skills is also sexy. I believe the sense of humor is important."

"I used the boos, and not the booze, as motivation. That led to applause, which I drank up like an alcoholic. I need a refill."

"Instead of committing suicide, people go to work."

"I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here."

"I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value."

"Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tyson pounding the Earthborn into the ground like a game of whack-a-mole. Ella was fluttering above him, dodging missiles and calling out advice: "The groin. The Earthborn's groin is sensitive."SMASH!"Good. Yes. Tyson found its groin."

"So when the moon's only partly full, you only feel a little wolfy?""You could say that.""Well, you can go ahead and hang your head out the car window if you feel like it.""I'm a werewolf, not a golden retriever."

"Be strong, believe in freedom and in God, love yourself, understand your sexuality, have a sense of humor, masturbate, don't judge people by their religion, color or sexual habits, love life and your family."

"People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail."

"It's amazing how these little guys can say things that a mortal human could never get away with. There's some sort of unspoken license... when outlandish things come out of an inanimate object, somehow it equals humor."